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The Village Voice has an article about fatty fuckers. These are the tiny minority of weirdos who like to fuck waddling land whales.

Here’s a pic to get you in the right frame of mind:

Read the whole article if you want to toss up your lunch. Ex:

Entries happily, ravenously, robustly referenced double bellies, back rolls, and “big old ham thighs.” Feminine body shapes were compared to pears, apples, and one calabash squash; their weights spanned from 180 pounds to over 500. “Big Fat Sexy Kitty,” a young woman who described herself as five feet tall and 260 pounds, wrote in: “I want fat sex. I want my jiggly bits rubbed and squished and fondled sexually.”

In person at the East Village’s Cafe Orlin, Dan explains that, yes, he likes round bellies. He likes double chins. He likes breasts the size of his head. He loves flabby biceps. “Fat upper arms are awesome. I would almost say I’m an arms guy,” he says, not by any means whispering. “I didn’t know that they would be that soft. I, like, fell asleep on a girl’s arm once. I was like, ‘Wow.’ ”

Dan, the fatty fucking guy they profile in the article, is quoted in this paragraph:

Too lazy to consider himself an activist, but cocky enough to be the mouthy weakling “who would be getting my neck rung by the bully and still saying shit,” Dan is ego-driven enough to envision a greater purpose. “Society sucks, and society says you need male validation. If you’re trying to say fat is attractive, as a lot of women out there are, it helps to find legitimate people who find this attractive.” Or, as he put it more bluntly on his Facebook page, after contributing two pro-fat pieces to lady blog The Hairpin, “I write about my preference for fat women in hopes that other men who share my preference will make themselves known so they’ll stop being little ballsacks and let the millions of fat women in this country find them.”

Riiiiight… society is telling men to get wood for slender babes. Yep, it’s that omnipotent society, pulling the strings of your penis, telling you when and when not to get an erection.

Hey, Dan, He who fucks gargantuan gelatinous cubes — maybe the reason millions of fat women in this country can’t find men to love them is because… oh, I don’t know… most men find fat women sexually repulsive? Not a sermon, just a thought.

Oh, but the fat chicks and their fatty fucking weirdo enablers just love to accuse the 99% of normal men who prefer thin hotties of lacking the courage to come out of the fatty fucker closet. Now where have we heard that insipid line of argument before? ooOOOOga!

In other words, Guys Who Like Fat Chicks are not make-believe. “We’re out there.”

So are sheep fuckers and necrophiliacs.

But the money quote part of this article is about a fat chick’s recollections of her time in Spain:

“There aren’t many fat girls in Spain,” reports Charlotte, who spent six months as an exchange student there in 2006. Back then, she weighed 425, and she claims that the department organizers at her Northeastern women’s college tried to dissuade her from going abroad because she was “too big.” She balked and went anyway, though she admits European daily life was far more taxing: The public bathrooms were “itty-bitty,” the online clothes retailers she frequents didn’t service Spain (Lane Bryant’s sizes are too small for her), and walking was the primary method of transportation. “Anytime I would walk down the street, people would stare at me like I was a circus sideshow. Here, people kind of like glance out of their eyes, but there people would stop and stare as I walked by.”

One time in Spain, an old woman spotted Charlotte in public, stopped abruptly, and crossed herself. “Like I was Satan.”

And there you have it: one of the main reasons why European girls stay thin. It’s the shaming, stupid.

But of course, it’s not just the shaming. People change for the better when the carrot and the stick are employed simultaneously.

After walking four miles a day overseas, Charlotte lost 75 pounds, which she gained back upon return.

In Europe, a smaller, densely populated continent, you can’t just ensconce your fat ass in a car everywhere you go. You have to get up and walk. And walking leads to weight loss, which leads to thinness and better sex with higher quality partners. This is why it’s so important to live in a city with a high walkability index. Your body and your love life will thank you. Plus, it’s a lot easier to meet girls on the sidewalk when you’re walking instead of craning your neck outside a car window.

Leftie outlets like the Village Voice love writing about the deviants of society, because their writers probably identify with them. But make no mistake… despite the drumbeat by equalists to normalize these fetishistic freaks, they are, and will remain, outcasts. So, no, Dan, “we’re” not out there. Rather, you’re out there. Be happy about it. You’ll never have a hard time meeting a desperate slovenly mound of blubber.

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